Five Things Freshmen Shouldn’t Say to Their English Instructors
1. “My parents don’t pay the university what they do for me to get C’s.”
2. “I missed over the number of permitted absences because my (fill in grandma, uncle, or third cousin twice removed) died suddenly.” FYI—instructors will require verification.
3. On a voicemail message on a Friday morning, “I can’t come to class because I’ve got the stomach flu.” Odd, isn’t it, how those bugs hit every Friday after all those Thursday night drink specials at campus bars.
4. “The reason the essay I turned in was written by someone else was out of concern for you and your eyesight. My handwriting is illegible. I swear I really wrote the paper. I just dictated it to my friend.”
5. “Can I reschedule this final? My fraternity kept me awake for two days straight, and I can’t think.”
Do you have any tips you’d like to share with college freshmen?
Labels: tips for college freshmen