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Wet Noodle Posse | Blog

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Five Things Freshmen Shouldn’t Say to Their English Instructors

Although September is synonymous with school for many of us, for those who’ve taught and moved on to other endeavors, the month may bring back memories of student excuses and bold statements that to this day make me and other former teachers scratch our heads. At the very least, dear freshmen, be smart enough to avoid saying any of the following to your English Instructors this fall.

1. “My parents don’t pay the university what they do for me to get C’s.”

2. “I missed over the number of permitted absences because my (fill in grandma, uncle, or third cousin twice removed) died suddenly.” FYI—instructors will require verification.

3. On a voicemail message on a Friday morning, “I can’t come to class because I’ve got the stomach flu.” Odd, isn’t it, how those bugs hit every Friday after all those Thursday night drink specials at campus bars.

4. “The reason the essay I turned in was written by someone else was out of concern for you and your eyesight. My handwriting is illegible. I swear I really wrote the paper. I just dictated it to my friend.”

5. “Can I reschedule this final? My fraternity kept me awake for two days straight, and I can’t think.”

Do you have any tips you’d like to share with college freshmen?



At 12:16 PM, Blogger Keri Mikulski said...

SO TRUE!! :)

It's amazing what you'll hear when teaching college freshman. :)

At 12:51 PM, Blogger Mo H said...

Thanks, Keri!:)

At 2:37 PM, Blogger Diane Gaston said...

Oh, the follies of youth!!!

At 5:00 PM, Blogger Theresa Ragan said...

Teenagers!!! :)

At 9:19 PM, Blogger Merrillee said...

I've never taught college freshman, but kids of any age can come up with hilarious excuses. They must think teachers don't have any brains.

At 9:47 PM, Blogger Mo H said...

Sometimes I think you're right!


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