Chatting Up Elves -- Esri Rose

Now that I’ve sold a book, I need a new website to promote it. So my husband Joe, who looks down on all website software and instead programs in pure HTML that comes from mountain streams and is filtered through gold-bearing quartz crystals, is making it for me. This kind of endeavor is a test of any marriage. My areas of expertise (color choices, pretty designs) are bumping up against his (quick page loads, elegant coding), and compromises will have to be made. Five minutes ago, I offered to buy a program and do it all myself.

Joe: “Well, that’s fine, as long as you never want me to change anything for you, because the code will be so full of crap, I won’t touch it.”

Esri: “Never? You’re saying I could never ask you for help? Are you going to cut me out of your will, too?"

We’ve worked through that now, though I’m sure it will come up again.

My publisher (Kensington) gave me a list of required website elements:

• the book’s release date
• cover picture
• author photo
• welcoming letter
• bio that’s more in-depth than the few lines on the back of the book
• event info
• excerpt (no more than 250 words)
• book-club lounge for reading groups to chat (!)
• and last but not least, some way to buy it.

The thought of a club forming to chat about my books is thrilling, even if I seriously can’t imagine what they’d chat about…

Gallerific: “She lives in Colorado. I hear they have good beer there.”

TooGoodFerU: “I hear CO guys all ski, and are super-HAWT.”

Anyway, out of all the things Kensington recommends having, I currently have…um, one, since my revision letter hasn’t come and I don’t want to post any preemie excerpts. The book isn’t out until May, so I’m working on design stuff right now. Although I suppose I could start the chat room.

TooGoodFerU: “So if an elf gets a piercing or a tattoo and then merges with the earth, do you think the piercing or whatever is gone when they take human form again?”

Gallerific: “I know! And what if a boy elf is circumcised while in human form? Do you think it would grow back?”

TooGoodFerU: “Why would anyone circumcise a boy elf??”

Gallerific: “Maybe it’s an experiment?”

TooGoodFerU: “Dude, they’d have to catch him first, and elves travel fast, right?”

Gallerific: “Probably super-fast, in that case.”

posted by Esri Rose @ 8:20 PM