The two forms of sisterhood
It's sisterhood month here at the Wet Noodle Posse, and it got me to thinking about how my biological sister and my best friend sister share the same first name and how I share so much with each of them, in different ways, that make us close.My sister and I have a shared history that spans all of her life and all but four years of mine. That's nearly 35 years of in jokes, shared trials that only the two of us (as the only siblings) can truly understand, and lots of memories. There are certain things about which I can only talk with her. We both love the outdoors and reading, though we tend to read different types of things. Our reading tastes typically only intersect with mysteries, such as those by Dana Stabenow. We're sisters because we share blood and parents, but that's not what makes us close. It's having experienced similar things and the fact that there are certain words I can say that will totally make her snort with laughter, and vice versa.
But I don't think two women have to share blood or family to feel like sisters. Take my best friend and me. We read similar types of books, love the same TV shows, e-mail several times a day, are both writers who've gone through a lot of the same things on the writing journey. When my sister gets it when I talk about family issues or a childhood memory, my friend gets it when I talk writing. And we're freakishly similar -- down to once discovering we had the same pajamas and microwave carts. We're no less close because we don't have the same family tree.
Sisterhoods can come in many forms -- long-time friends, sorority sisters, clubs, the members of a group blog like this one. They feed the soul and make one feel a part of a group, one of the common needs of humans. Sisterhood is so important, whether it's family or friendship. You always know someone is there to listen, to understand, to laugh with, to cry with, to ponder with. While I don't get to see my sister or my friend all that often (the three of us living in three different states), I'm thankful we keep in regular contact via e-mail and instant messenger. My life would be much less happy and fulfilling without them in it.
What about you? What are some of the sisterhoods that mean a lot to you?
Labels: sisters
posted by Trish Milburn @ 12:01 AM
9 Comments:
I don't have a blood sister (I used to want to trade in one of my brothers but I think I'll keep them now--they're not so bad) but what I love about my best friend is the ability to talk about ANYTHING. We're alike in so many ways, but different enough to bring another perspective to the table, whether we're discussing a favorite show or movie, or plotting a book, or discussing family issues. My mother-in-law said it was important to have one good friend in your life, and you're lucky if you find her! I'm lucky!
I think you're mother-in-law is right, MJ. It's also interesting to me that we tend to have sets of friends that are tied to a specific time or place in our lives -- high school friends, college friends, friends from places we've lived, and the friends that stay with us no matter how much we age or where we live.
Some of the sisterhoods that mean a lot to me are, of course, the biological ones (I have two sisters and a sister-in-law) and best friend sisters that I bonded with in college, in critique groups, and in my daughter's dance studio. Sometimes our children enable us to meet friends who become sisters of the heart.
By the way, I'll be writing on Wednesday about the trips I take with my college buddies.
I have real sisters, old friend sisters, romance writing sisters, best friend sisters, online friend sisters, former work friend sisters.
There are a lot of women I feel close to, and feel a kinship with. I feel very blessed in life to have them!
I'll be blogging this month about the fictional sisters in my anthology with Amanda McCabe and Deb Marlowe, The Diamonds of Welbourne Manor, May 15; on my real sisters May 18 and on the Sisters of the Moon, my critique group on May 20. You'll be sick of me by the end of the month!
I'm fortunate to have one wonderful blood sister--someone who suffered through shared rooms for many years.
And, as Trish pointed out, there have been different groups through the years--my college sorority sisters, mothers whose children shared classes with mine, faculty colleagues.
What amazes me are the friendships I've made with other writers--how quickly we can become so close. These sisterhoods are surprising and special gifts.
Tomorrow I'll make a three-hour drive across a mountain range for a two-hour lunch with a group of writing sisters. We've been meeting every month for years, and I treasure every minute I spend in their company.
I have a blood sister that has literally saved my sanity. Then I have a couple of church sisters, and a whole passel of sisters I've acquired online, many of whom I've flown someplace so we could meet, and several I know I fly to visit once or twice a year. For one, I bought my cellphone so we could talk almost every day on her way home from work. These wonderful women have taught me about being healthy, in every aspect, about sharing, loyalty, trust and love. I thank God every day for them.
I don't have a biological sister, but I have two amazing friends who are my soul sisters. One I met when I was 2 via our mothers. Our friendship spans 44 years! She live in Holland and we're blessed to see each other as often as we have over the past decades. We've joined our families -- husbands and children-- in a lifelong, multi-generational bond that's a blessing to us.
My best friend who knows everything about me and isn't afraid to tell me I'm a fool if necessary lives i Vancouver. She and I have traveled down some interesting roads together. And we have lived to laugh and share a lot of tales. My greatest scare was when she lost a kidney two years ago and we had to wait an agonizing three weeks for cancer pathology results. When the news came back that she was cancer free, I think we both reached through the long distance cords of life and jumped to the heavens together. Truth sayers are rare: she's one and I don't let go of her easily.
Now that I write, I am amazed at how quickly the bonds of sisterhood form between me and my fellow writers. These women encourage my dreams and embolden my heart. I cannot imagine making this journey without them!
Trish, great post! I have FOUR sisters but I also have friends who feel like sisters, too.
You had the same microwave cart?! LOL
Mary, we always wanted a brother...so I know what you mean!
Great comments, everyone. I feel all warm and fuzzy now. :)
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