How I Got Jennifer Crusie’s New Book

I never buy in hardcover. I’m just too cheap to spend over twenty bucks on a book that I might not even like. But when I heard about Jennifer Crusie’s new adventure-romance Don’t Look Down, which she co-wrote with thriller writer Bob Mayer, I knew I had to make an exception of major proportions.

Jennifer Crusie is my all-time favorite author. Her stories are witty, warm and wise. That plus guns and alligators in a swamp, with a sexy former Green Beret? That wasn’t a risk – that was a sure thing. I decided to not only buy the book, but to go to the Desert Dreams conference in Arizona so that I could get it autographed. Perfect plan, right?

Not quite.

First problem: the Chaparral Suites hotel in Scottsdale, where the conference was being held, had a free cocktail reception every night. Free rum punch beneath the palm trees and desert blue sky! For the first time since the birth of my toddler, I had a whole weekend to myself, and as soon as the day’s workshops were over I headed for the bar. I got a rum punch for me, one for my roommate, and headed back to the room to take a much-needed nap.

Totally forgetting the booksigning. Aggggghhh!

The next day, I attended Jennifer Crusie’s morning workshop with Bob Mayer and was still kicking myself. But by some miracle, as I was checking out of the hotel and back to my regular, rum-punch-free life, I saw Jennifer Crusie. I went over to talk to her, and was completely blown away by how generous, funny, warm and enthusiastic she is.

Turns out they’d sold out of Don’t Look Down almost immediately at the booksigning the day before, so I felt a little less stupid about missing it. And I got something else – a photograph with Jennifer Crusie!! (Oh my God!!!!)

Once I was back home, I packed up my fourteen-month-old and drove to Barnes & Noble. There was the book, stacked right in the front with the other bestsellers! I snatched it up, savoring the feel of it in my hands. After eight months of longing, Don’t Look Down was MINE! I paid for it and hurried outside to pack up my Jeep Liberty so I could head home.

As I buckled my baby in her car seat, she was fussing and reaching for my car keys. I gave them to her and closed the door to put the stroller in the back.

Can you say stupidest mom of all time?

The instant I closed the door, I heard an ominous beep.

Clara had locked me out of the truck!

Panicking, I pressed my face against the window. “Press the other button, Clara! The unlock button!”

She tilted her head at me, puzzled. Then obligingly tried to fulfill my request and hit the lock button again.

Frantically, I tried to give her instructions about pressing the other button. Laughing at the game, she tried to hand me the keys, pushing them against the glass. “No, Clara! Keep the keys! The button!”

After awhile, she lost interest in the game. Especially since boring old mom wouldn’t even open the door to properly play. As if in slow motion, I saw her drop the keys to the floor. “Noooooo!!”

My diaper bag was on the passenger seat, leaving me without money or a cell phone. I had no choice but to leave my baby alone in the car while I ran inside Barnes & Noble. The sympathetic clerk handed me a phone and a phone book. Normally, I would have called my husband, but he’d just broken his ankle and couldn’t drive. It was like a perfect storm of tough breaks. I finally got the bright idea of calling a locksmith.

“My baby is trapped in the car! Please hurry!” I begged.

I went back outside to the car to wait. Clara was now howling, tears streaking her little face, and there was nothing I could do but lean my head against the window and try not to cry with her.

Several people stopped to offer help, including a kindly older gentleman who was heading into B&N with his young granddaughter. He offered to use a wire clothes hanger to break into my car if the locksmith didn’t come soon. I was seriously considering his offer when the locksmith’s van pulled into the lot. He’d made it there in a record ten minutes, and two minutes later, Clara was free and in my arms.

So here’s the breakdown of costs in acquiring Jennifer Crusie’s new book:

Airfare to Arizona: $320

Hotel plus conference fee: $410

Locksmith cost: $40

Plus “thankyouthankyouohthankyou” tip: $20

Book at Barnes & Noble, minus 20% “bestselling hardcover” discount: $20.96

So all in all, the total cost of getting Don’t Look Down was $810.96. And now, having read it, I’ve just gotta say . . .

. . . it was so, so worth it.

posted by Jennie Lucas @ 12:06 AM