Are You a Hallo-Weenie?By Maureen Hardegree
Halloween! I love it. As a child, with the exception of Christmas and my birthday, it was my favorite day, and not just because of the candy. From my first costume—-a molded plastic Cinderella mask secured to my head with uncovered elastic that would inevitably break or tangle in my hair—-to this year’s costume of Grandmother Willow to my daughter’s Pocahontas, I have looked forward to dressing up for Halloween. There is another member of our nuclear family who does not like to dress up. Purchasing him a tomahawk to entice him into donning some Powhatan attire didn’t work. He refused—after telling me the tomahawk toy was a waste of money, and that he wants a real one for yard work? Hmm. Our costume compromise for the Halloween Party we attended last night was me pinning a fake hummingbird to his baseball cap, and he called himself Flit, Disney Pocahontas’s little friend. But he also inspired me to invent a new word. My invention sort of came about like this, me telling him, “You know what you are? You’re a Hallo-weenie!”
Of course, my husband is taking the credit for the new word as part of his muse-abilities.
Hal•lo•ween•ie \’hal-¬ō-‘wē-nē n a person who does not observe the festivity, through costume-donning, trick-or-treating, and/or the playing of pranks on October 31, Halloween [short for All Hallow Even eve of All Saints’ Day] syn see PARTY POOPER
If you aren’t certain whether you are a Halloween Lover or Hallo-weenie, answer the following questions:
If I hadn’t noted the date of Halloween in the definition above, would you know when this holiday is?
Are you feverishly finishing up your costume, or are you telling your wife you ain’t gonna wear one?
Did you lack creativity and wear the same Hobo costume every year as a child?
Do you consider your pins, such as “Bite Me!” and “I’m the Treat” an adequate observation of the holiday?
Do you have children so they can trick-or-treat for you? As a Hallo-weenie, you get first dibs on any candy after the Great Sort [i.e. dividing candies into piles of best—Butterfingers, Snickers, Milky Ways, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups—to worst—brick like bubblegum and those weird peanut butter candies in the orange and black wrappers.
Let me know if you’re a lover or a weenie. Happy Halloween!