Sisterhood—In Sickness and in Health
by Lee McKenzieA year and a half ago I received some scary news. I had developed malignant melanoma in at least one lymph node in my neck—a recurrence following a primary lesion that had been removed in 2001. A close friend—a true sister in every sense of the word—was with me when I received that diagnosis. Throughout the surgery, recovery and a year of chemotherapy, I’ve been surrounded by a large and supportive group of women.
Ever since that dreadful day in the doctor’s office, my family, friends and colleagues—my own personal sisterhood—rallied around, and their unending love and support kept me going when the going was rough.
Christmas—my favorite holiday—fell between the diagnosis and surgery, and my daughter helped made sure the festivities came together beautifully. She was there when I went into surgery and five hours later was there when I came out. She sat with me in the hospital, washed and combed my hair, patiently learned to clean and care for the incisions, and loaded my favorite music on her iPod. At home, she was always there when I needed her, in spite of a full course load at university and a part-time job.
My extended family of “sisters”—my mother, mother-in-law, aunts, and sister-in-law—live in different cities, so their love and support came as phone calls, cards, bouquets, emails and the occasional visit. I’ve been continually buoyed up by their strength and positive energy.
My friends showered me with attention. Meals, flowers, gifts and books were delivered to the door, and my inbox and voice mail were filled with good wishes. They took me to medical appointments, to the physiotherapist and, at my whim, to the local children’s petting zoo and for walks in public gardens. As I began to regain energy, there were coffee dates and lunch dates.
My Noodler sisters, this amazing group of women that I have been so fortunate to connect with, have continually offered support and
My family doctor, the nurses at the hospital, physiotherapist, massage therapist and therapeutic touch practitioner—all women—have offered more comfort and shown more compassion than I ever would have dreamed possible.
My editors have patiently waited for me to recover, and I’m now triumphantly working on my next submission. It’s wonderful to feel well enough to write again.
This is not to say I haven’t received support from the men in my life. My husband was also at my side before and after surgery, sat with me in the chemo room, and, when I was too sick to get out of bed, ran the household while working full-time. My son, who was away at college, called often and visited when he could. My father, who has the biggest heart of any man on the planet, never let go of his belief that I would beat this.
But today is about sisterhood, and I am so lucky to be part of one with such a vigorous embrace. I am now healthy and well, and regaining a little strength and energy every day. I’d like to think I could have done this on my own, but I’m beyond grateful that I didn’t have to. So, my sisters, I’m now hugging back, and this hug’s for you.
With much love,
Lee
Labels: health, Lee McKenzie, love, sisters, support
Wasting Time
by
Jill MonroeI'll be the first to admit that I waste WAY too much time on the Internet under the heading "research"
I check the yahoo writer loops I'm on - this is under the misguided belief that someone out there has that one gem of advice that I need to hear in order to improve my life, career and finances.
I blog hop to some of my favorite author blogs. In a lot of ways, this has replaced the yahoo groups with all the messages. I can connect with friends that have my same interests, understand my chosen career and generally have a lot of fun chatting. This is similar to the morning diet coke break I'd take with my co-workers when I had a 9 to 5 job.
Visit my books on amazon and B&N - I tell myself I won't do this. What's the point? They're there. They'll still be there tomorrow. AND when the rankings aren't where I want them to be - major energy suck.
Industry blogs/sites - these are review sites, readers who talk about romances whatever. Something VERY BIG happens on one of these blogs/sites at least once a month. Hundreds of comments, bloggers referring to other blogs/sites. It's a circle that can really become toxic to your time.
So why do I visit these when I know they're not good for me?
Because writing can be hard. Sometimes the words don't flow. The cursor does nothing but blink and while I'm at the computer...it's so easy to hop away from my word doc. Writing is also very solitary, and it's nice to chat, even cyberly, throughout the day.
So, I'm putting myself on limits. Time limits and word limits.
First, I don't hop away from the manuscript until I have at least ___ pages written. I change that number depending on how close to deadline. It's a minimum of one page though.
Second, when I just have to check out the Internet, I give myself a time limit and I use a timer. I can spare 10 minutes.
Lastly, I do give myself a break from writing. I used to be a firm believer that a writer writes every day. Now I'm not so sure. Now I give myself permission to just have an afternoon of reading. Watching a rom com while the kids are at school instead of writing. There's something about that time away that makes me look forward to tackling a manuscript.
Do you have a favorite time waster? How to battle it? Do you take a break from writing?
Labels: Jill Monroe, support, writing
Friends Helping Friends
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship, and about the kinds of things friends do for one another and expect from one another.
A very dear friend of mine was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. She and I belong to a close-knit group of writers, and everyone in the group has rallied around to support her in whatever way they can—providing transportation and accommodation when she has to travel to the city, and accompanying her to appointments and medical treatments. My friend finds this quite overwhelming. She told me that she’d do exactly the same thing for anyone else but would never ask for it or expect it from others.
When I thought about what she said, I realized I feel the same way, even though there’s no logical explanation for it. Why soldier through a terrible ordeal alone when I can surround myself with the love and support of my very dear friends? I believe that somewhere in the answer to that question lies the true meaning of friendship, and that perhaps we don’t have to ask our friends for help because in our hearts we know they’ll be there when we need them.
Lee
Labels: breast cancer, friendship, support
Ever since that dreadful day in the doctor’s office, my family, friends and colleagues—my own personal sisterhood—rallied around, and their unending love and support kept me going when the going was rough.
My extended family of “sisters”—my mother, mother-in-law, aunts, and sister-in-law—live in different cities, so their love and support came as phone calls, cards, bouquets, emails and the occasional visit. I’ve been continually buoyed up by their strength and positive energy.
This is not to say I haven’t received support from the men in my life. My husband was also at my side before and after surgery, sat with me in the chemo room, and, when I was too sick to get out of bed, ran the household while working full-time. My son, who was away at college, called often and visited when he could. My father, who has the biggest heart of any man on the planet, never let go of his belief that I would beat this.
