Writing Love Scenes from Real Life by Diane Gaston

When reading I often skip love scenes that primarily describe in great detail the physical steps a hero and heroine are taking to achieve bliss. My favorite love scenes are the ones that recreate the feeling of new love or of love restored or love that-looks-like-it-will-be-lost. I want to be inside the character's heads, feeling what they feel. The actual placement of body parts during the scene is less important to me.
This is what you can take from real life--the feelings of the experience.
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Your real life gives you this information. The challenge is, you need to find fresh words to describe the experience and not rely on the hundreds of love scenes you've read in other romance novels. If you call up your own feelings and think about your own experiences, you will start in a unique place. Once there, you can think about how it would be for your characters. Starting with yourself, though, gives your prose a better chance of being unique.
Someone is going to say, "Not all of us who love reading and writing romance have had those kinds of experiences. What are we supposed to do?"

Someone else is going to say, "But I count on getting those feelings from the romance books I read, but you said don't use other romance novels...."
What I mean is, don't copy or mimic the words of the other writer, start from your reaction to the words, your fantasy about the characters, your feelings, and go from there.
It is entirely permissible to exaggerate your real life experiences. Or to idealize them. Give fantasy a free rein to go beyond your own world of experiences. We all know that our real life experiences rarely look, sound, and act like larger-than-life fictional ones, but they are the place to start.
What do you think makes a good love scene in a romance novel? What are your tips to keep the writing fresh?
Visit Diane's website to learn about her April Undone, The Unlacing of Miss Leigh, and her April Novella, Justine and the Noble Viscount, in The Diamonds of Welbourne Manor.
Diane also blogs every Monday at Risky Regencies
Labels: 5 senses, How to Write, love scenes