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Wet Noodle Posse | Blog

Monday, June 12, 2006

Romance Man + God's Princess = Looove

by Bridget Stuart

When I was putting my six-year-old son Richard to sleep tonight, he turned into his ardent alter-ego, Romance-Man. He gushed the sort of stuff my husband wouldn't be caught dead saying: "Mom, my world would be nothing without you. I can't stop thinking about you. You're prettier than all the other mothers." Once, Romance-Man was trying to think of the most superlative compliment ever, and said I was like God to him. I hastily broke the news that I had no claim to divinity, and so he thought about it for a few seconds and decided, "Well, then, you're God's Princess."

Just so you all know.

But sadly, in the past few months, Richard's been Romance-Man less, and Screenplay-Pitching-Man more. He's constantly interrupting me to deliver punchy three-line hooks about the current scenario he's dreamed up for his Lego figures. "Mom, Spider Man and Mary Jane are lost in Harry Potter's castle. They were looking for a magic goblet. Now things have gone horribly wrong." (I'm not kidding, "horribly wrong" is one of his favorite phrases.) Poor Mary Jane--this little Lego figurine from the Spider Man collection gets into all kinds of heinous situations. If she were a romance heroine, she'd definitely fall under the "too stupid to live" category. When we bought Richard the "Dinosaur Attack" Lego set for his birthday, he ripped the giftwrap from the box, goggled at the towering T. Rex and commented in awe, "Mary Jane's in *big* trouble now…"

I think the fading of Romance-Man and the ascendancy of Screenplay-Pitching-Man means that my little guy is starting to grow up.

I got some back-up for this theory when we were attending an amateur performance of "101 Dalmations", which my older son Peter had gone to theater camp for a week to prepare for-- his being the taxing technical role of pushing a button to dim the lights at the beginning and pushing a button to bring up the lights at the end. Anyhow, Richard watched the play with rapt attention, horrified at Cruella de Vil's evil quest for dalmation puppies…and then one of the characters spoke the brilliant line, "Oh, no! Whatever can we do to stop that wicked Cruella de Vil?"

Interpreting this as a bona fide request for advice, Richard spoke decisively into the hush of the darkened theater: "Fighter jets."


At 7:42 AM, Blogger Theresa Ragan said...

Bridget, LOL! I want to meet Richard. You need to post a picture of him playing with Mary Jane. :) Cute post.


At 8:41 AM, Blogger Trish Milburn said...

Bridget, this is hilarious! Fighter jets. LOL.

At 9:51 AM, Blogger bridget said...

Thanks Theresa and Trish! I would post pictures, if only I could figure out how... and I have to say, I'm in awe of people who know how to do it, and who are able to put active links in their text--the holy grail of blogging! I think I'll spend a while on a blogger tutorial search =)

At 1:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm. Maybe you can ask ScreenPlay Man if fighter jets are any good at sucking up some of the excess water from my flooded garden.

Nothing else seems to be working. So here's the plot: we'll put a TSTL damsel in distress out there, sinking into the muck of one of the raised beds, unable to cross the gator-filled moats surrounding it, and then along comes Richard and his fighter jets to rescue her by vaccuming up the contents of the moat and perhaps dumping the excess water on some drought-stricken part of the world.

Okay, we'd still need to figure out how to explain the gators to the drought-country's inhabitants, but it sounds like a blockbuster of a screenplay to me.


At 1:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

High Concept: "101 Dalmations meets The Bridges of Toko-Ri"

At 1:47 PM, Blogger bridget said...

So, what you all are saying is, Screenplay-Pitching-Man has a future in Hollywood?

At 7:42 PM, Blogger Colleen Gleason said...

LOLOL Bridget! Gotta love those little guys!

Give him a big hug from his Auntie Colleen. (Who wishes she, too, was God's princess.)

At 7:50 PM, Blogger Diane Perkins said...

Your little guy is a definite keeper! And waaaaaaaayyyy too smart! What a treasure.

At 10:23 PM, Blogger bridget said...

Thanks for the good feelings, Colleen and Diane! And I'll pass on the hug. BTW, just found out that anonymous #2 is a close relation of mine...I thought I recognized that humor...

At 11:42 PM, Blogger Tori Scott said...

Give Richard a hug from me too. And I think he definitely has a future in Hollywood!

At 11:55 AM, Blogger Prisakiss said...

Look out Stephen Spielberg, here comes Richard!!! :-) With the Posse cheering him on the background!

Briget, you're raising a smart, sweet little guy. I'm sure you're showering him with hugs and praise!


At 12:36 PM, Blogger Jennie Lucas said...

Oh my gosh, this made me laugh so hard coffee came out of my nose! What a brilliant, warm, funny kid!

At 10:33 PM, Blogger bridget said...

Tori, Pris and Jenna, wow, I'm passing it all on to Richard-- he still doesn't know I wrote about him on this blog, so he's a little bewildered at all the hugs from the "Loop Ladies" as he calls us! Thanks you gals for all the Loooove!

At 8:10 AM, Blogger Norah said...

Bridget (aka God's Princess), this cracked me up! Your boys are precious.

At 12:29 PM, Blogger Kiki, aka Esri said...

Best kid story EVER.


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